Go Gray with Online and Offline Support

Each going grey journey is exceptionally unique. Culture, society, and deep-rooted beliefs about beauty standards across the world may lead to diverse conflicts.
In this post, I’ve tried to throw light on various factors that may create difficulty in a smooth journey towards embracing our natural gray hair, and how to create a supportive environment for making things easier for a smooth ride through this journey.

Starting with Family…

I know the battle starts at home itself.

Not everyone is lucky to have a family that would agree and say,” Go ahead, it’s your hair. Do whatever you feel like.” You may come across questions like:

“This is not the age to go gray.”

“You will look old.”

“Wait for a few more years before you quit dying your hair.”

The chances of getting such reactions and suggestions are higher if you are young. Well, but YOU have made up your mind. Right? 

These questions can come from anyone in the family, even your spouse. And honestly, most of the time, they don’t come from a bad place. They usually come from concern, protectiveness, or simply not being ready to accept the idea yet. Sometimes it’s supportive, sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s a mix of both.

They know it’s your hair and that the decision is ultimately yours, but their reactions still need to be met with patience and kindness. I’ve found that calmly explaining your reasons makes a big difference. Talk about why embracing your natural hair matters to you. Share how constant dyeing affects not just your hair, but your overall health too. When people understand your “why,” they’re far more likely to respect and even support your choice.

You may persuade your family by suggesting a mutual path of ‘Let me give it a try. ‘ Assuring them you can always go back and colour your hair again. This way, at least, you may start your journey with their consent.

Read Gray Hair Transition Stories for encouragement from women who embraced their natural silver hair: Sparkling Silvers Stories

When it comes to family, I really feel that your biggest supporter should be your spouse. If they’re on your side, other people’s opinions don’t matter as much because, at the end of the day, this is the person you’re going to spend your life with. When there’s mutual understanding, everything feels easier. And as your closest companion, a supportive spouse can lift you up with kind words, love, and encouragement when you need it most.

Social Media

The concept of documenting a gray hair journey can be super helpful for anybody going gray, especially for single women who may have zero real-life support.

Instagram is the most popular platform for creating such documentation, allowing you to share your hair progress photos, videos and stories. In addition, Instagram provides you with two options for privacy settings on your account:

1. Private– You may opt for a private account setting if you wish to keep your documentation confidential, which allows only your followers to access your posts.
2. Public– If you are comfortable sharing your documentation with random visitors through your account, set your account to public.

When I first created my account, I kept it private because I didn’t want inappropriate comments or unsolicited advice from strangers to shake my confidence or make me doubt my decision. At that stage, I needed a safe space. I chose to accept follow requests only from women who were also going gray, because I wanted to connect with people who truly understood what I was going through.

Virtual support in the form of discussions, inspiration, and connection with like-minded women on Instagram is incredible.

You may insert these popular hashtags into your posts to be seen in the silver sisters community on Instagram- #silversisters #goinggray #ditchthedye #silvervixen #saltandpepperhair, and so on.

There are a few large supportive communities to follow and get inspired by the women featured, who share their inspirational stories. The most popular are @grombre, @embracethegrey

Let me know in the comments if you have an Instagram account documenting your Gray Hair Transition. I want to connect with you! Mine is @sparklingsilvers

Also Read: 10 Excellent Ideas to Hide Gray Hair Demarcation Line

Facebook Gray Hair Closed Groups have existed for many years, supporting women going gray around the world. These are large communities of women from different age groups and countries, supporting and inspiring one another throughout the journey. You may join any of these amazing closed groups on Facebook:

Going Gorgeously Gray!

Gray and Proud

Silver Revolution

Also, a closed group for my Indian Silver Sisters Sparklingsilvers India

And of course daily dose of inspiration on Pinterest is just unbeatable.

Incredible Friends…

No doubt, the support and love from friends will be unconditional. They won’t sit back and judge your decision. Instead, provide a safe emotional space for you to be yourself.

Choosing one or two very close friends, people who truly know you, and sharing your thoughts about this new adventure of going grey can be a really wise step. They’re the ones who will listen, understand, and stand by you during the difficult moments that can come up during the transition. No matter how things feel on a given day, these real-life cheerleaders will lift you up, celebrate your small wins, and surround you with the positive energy you need to keep going.

Books..

Though you must be very confident in your decision and able to face any challenges that may come your way, some days are bad, and you can’t help it.

I was committed and confident enough to face any external situation during the transition, but some days I felt low. It just happens. And girls, believe me, it’s Okay to feel that way sometimes. As a part of human nature, it may happen. This was the time when I grabbed my favourite books: The Secret, You Can Win, OSHO, Rising Strong, and Wishful Drinking.

Here’s a list of some Silver Hair Books recommended by our Silver sisters:

Every Which Way To Go Gray

Gray Hair Don’t Care

Silver Hair: Say Goodbye to the Dye and Let Your Natural Light Shine: A Handbook

Beauty Reinvented: How to Embrace Gray Hair, Upgrade Your Self-Confidence and Redefine Your Beauty

The Silver Disobedience Playbook: 365 Inspirations for Living and Loving Agelessly

At Workplace…

“Why you letting yourself go?”

“Is everything all right in your life?”

“You look ugly.”

“Did you miss your colour appointment?”

And many more such comments. People are people. Some may silently welcome your decision, while others may bombard you with awful questions at work. You must be lucky to have some of your colleagues appreciate your decision. Those are the best to stick with along the journey. 

The workplace can be a very sensitive and tricky place to react, so letting yourself get too serious about justifying what you are up to will only drain you. Keeping things light can be a game-changer.

Humour is another way to deal with rudeness at the workplace. In a freaky moment, laughter may restore normalcy. Some women find self-enhancing humour an effective way to cope with real circumstances.  

Otherwise, you may ignore it with a smile. Have a look at how some of our fellow silver sisters responded in different situations: 

When I started going silver, several coworkers said, “Oh, you need to dye that! You’re going to look old!” I told them- No way! I’m proud of my age, and I worked hard for every silver strand. It’s the beginning of my crown.

– Kica Savage

My husband noticed my roots yesterday. He said, “Oh, I think you need some dye?” I gave him “the look” and said, “I am growing it out.” He took a minute to think and size up the situation- he realised that whatever he said next was going to get him castrated, so he backed away and just said, “Yeah – cool.” He survived to live another day! That’s how we silvers roll! 

– Sam Pickersgill

I was given advice by someone out of style and frizzy hair..that I would look younger if I coloured. I said my goal isn’t to look younger but to be my age. That’s perfect. Most of all had been compliments and younger girls asking what colour I use. I guess, as the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What’s most important is what you really like and feel good with. 

– Freeda Ricardo 

My response is always “oh well, you gotta own it to rock it” and put on the biggest smile you’ve got! Drives people crazy!!! 

– Annette Lavigne 

I got “Wow, you’re brave! I said, “Yes, I am. I got, but you’re not even 50 yet!”I said, “I know! I will be so trendy!!”Haha 

– Bethany Boggiatto LaBelle

Have had a “you’re letting yourself go” comment. I slowly looked them up and down with a slight smile on my face and cocked my right eyebrow. 

– Susan Bongard 

I had people tell me my “roots’re getting a bit long, have you booked in to have them sorted?” To which I answered, “No, I’m not colouring it anymore. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons, so I decided to stop.” It left some of them a bit dumbfounded. 

– Julie Bond

Other people’s comments are almost always really about them and their issues or fears. When people offer unsolicited comments or opinions, just offer a ‘Hm’ and move on. No one but YOU gets a vote on YOUR decisions about YOUR body/life.

– Ena Logan

I’ve had friends say, “I would never do that,” or “I’ll never let myself go like that.” I just say, well, you are not me, and I am really happy being my true self.

– Ellen Gore

Also, read an article on practices to avoid frizz on gray hair and how to calm the dryness: 5 Mistakes That Are Worsening Your Gray Hair Frizz

And last but not least, YOU.

Who can give you more love and support during the transition than YOU? I have seen many examples of women who successfully ditched the dye with almost no support from their surroundings. How did they do that? 

This journey makes you stronger, no matter how you choose the transition. Three months of my grow-out time gave me insight into my inner strength. I found myself courageous enough to face difficult situations. 

A woman’s looks and hair are the most prominent features of external beauty. Compromising this fact can only be tough. And here, the battle begins to accept yourself and concentrate on your inner beauty.

As…

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Did you face any difficulty initiating your grey hair transition or had some pesky comments on your hair?